To Thine Own Self
Journeying Through Pain to Experience Love
I always express that I didn’t know and understand love until I experienced deep pain. It’s the other side of the vibration. It’s almost impossible to comprehend up without down, right without left, male without female. Sun without moon, hot without cold, and the list goes on. It’s all about duality, and it’s in almost everything. Often, our perspectives can be limited due to experiencing only one side of something, and it’s like not having all the necessary information to come to a conclusion. In my experience, being able to experience both sides of something has helped me become a well-rounded individual and ultimately helped me fall in love with myself.
Someone asked me the other day, “How do you know when you love yourself?” I pondered on the question for a quick second and answered with, “You know when you know something, you don’t know why you know it, but you just do.” When I got home, I thought about it more and so much came up for me. I believe this is a question that should be answered from an individual perspective as the answer will vary based on individual experiences. As I pondered on the question, my spirit whispered, “To thine own self just be true, that’s when you know.” Let me explain…
Based on my observations, there aren’t many of us who were taught how to love ourselves and I mean wholeheartedly love ourselves. We’re taught how to give it and most times in a sacrificial way, that we spend most of our lives destitute, continuing to pour from empty cups. In my experience, pouring from an empty cup led to a greater disconnection from myself, which in turn was the ultimate disconnection from the source.
The turning point for me was when I decided to walk away from my 15-year marriage not knowing or even caring what was on the other side of that, I just knew whatever it was, I hoped it to be better than where I was. During that time, I was experiencing deep emotional pain, and I permitted myself to feel every inkling of it and learned to navigate through it as I knew it was the only way out.
The more I connected to myself, the more my authentic self showed. I began taking care of myself, mind, body, and spirit; and learning this is a lifelong journey, which helped me to practice compassion and patience with myself. Acceptance also played a significant role in this journey. I learned to embrace myself and everything that I AM; even the parts I may have felt were unlovable, and this is not an easy task.
Pain was the catalyst for my awakening and let me tell you, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m a much wiser and loveable woman, and ultimately a much better person because of it. Pain literally drove me to search the depths of my soul to find and recuse me. As I have mentioned before, LOVE is not this thing we do, it is the core essence of who we are! Now that I’ve experienced both sides of the vibration, I’ve concluded that I love myself and am in love with myself because, in all things, I will remain true to myself. It’s about honor. The journey has been and will always be about having an unwavering commitment to self because to thine own self must you remain true!
As always, the divine in me recognizes the divine in you!
-Keyanna