Access Denied!

Being Intentional About Who Gets to Experience Me

I’ve learned so much over the last couple of years, one being the importance of setting boundaries. Boundaries are necessary and are clear guidelines for how you would like to be treated. They should never be put in place for others, strictly for ourselves! Setting boundaries is an act of self-love, and as you continue to honor those boundaries, they will create a sense of inner safety and security. In my younger years, I always had trouble setting boundaries, let alone understanding their purpose. Often, I would associate implementing boundaries with being rude or mean. I was sadly mistaken to say the least. 

After being drug through the mud, ripped clothes, and heartbroken, I slowly but surely learned the importance of setting boundaries. It took some serious emotional pain and a few knots on my forehead to help me understand that loving myself looks like protecting myself. At the time, I wanted to point the finger at the offender in hopes they would recognize the pain and grief they were causing me, but I could only point the finger at myself. I failed to set boundaries for myself. I failed to honor myself and speak out against something or someone I felt was causing me pain. When I reached the end of my rope, there was nothing else I thought I could possibly lose. I might have lost myself if I hadn’t learned to set boundaries.

Setting boundaries takes practice and initially feels awkward, but with consistency, it will become like second nature. I learned boundaries also come with giving myself permission to feel safe and secure and knowing I am worthy of experiencing those feelings. At this point in my life, I know I am worthy of being safe and secure, and I experience that state of being. Therefore, I am working towards consistently enforcing them and will continue to do so.

The funny thing is we often worry about how others will perceive us when boundaries are enforced, and correction is needed; however, this should be the least of our worries. This week, I was reminded of a download I received last September. Spirit literally told me to pay attention to how people respond to me when boundaries are enforced. I had no idea what that meant at that time, but it makes complete sense now.  

I now understand that I am not for everyone, which is completely fine. I’ve even had to remind myself to stop going to places or around people that no longer resonate with me. It’s no love lost; as a matter of fact, it’s always love! Moving forward, I commit to being more intentional about who gets to experience me and where I exert my energy. I’ll be actively practicing budgeting my energy. I move in confidence, knowing that I get to choose how I respond to crossed boundaries. At this point, any individual I feel who has crossed my threshold to intentionally or unintentionally cause me pain, hurt, harm, danger, or interrupt my peace will be dismissed from my life expeditiously!

I no longer have any interest in participating with individuals who act unloving, are unkind, and unworthy of experiencing me. I promise myself; I will be unbothered. A huge part of setting boundaries involves practicing being unbothered and unmoved about someone’s thoughts or feelings about you. Their opinions do not matter, but your feelings and well-being certainly do!

In closing, I love and respect myself too much to not set boundaries for myself and hold any individual accountable who decides to participate in my life. I gave out too many passes in my lifetime, allowing others to abuse, disrespect, and disregard me because I let them. Being intentional about who gets to experience me requires consistent check-ins with myself to determine if the person resonates with who I am at that moment and being okay with detaching from anyone who no longer resonates with me. Furthermore, giving myself permission to deny access to anyone that never did or no longer vibrates at the same frequency. As mentioned earlier, I’m not for everyone, and that’s completely okay. I’m not interested in being liked or accepted by everyone, but I can now say with all sincerity the moment I feel a boundary has been crossed, no passes will be given, their access pass will be snatched, and access will quickly be denied!

As always, the divine in me recognizes the divine in you!

-Keyanna

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others. -Brene Brown